The Endless Summer

I'm usually a very bright and happy person, but I'm also always very easily upset and I take most things extremely personally.  During the spring time, I had several events take place that really changed my life and the way I looked at the relationships I had with the people around me.  I started being extremely cautious and almost reclusive because I was so scared to let anyone get to me.  Being the Positive Polly that I am, that didn't last for long.  At the beginning of the summer, I had another ridiculous situation happen that was pretty much the final straw for me.  I decided then and there that I would stop expecting everyone to treat me the way that I treat them and not be so sure that everyone was as true as they came across as.  Best decision I've ever made.

You may think this is selfish of me, and you are absolutely right.  I've lived my whole life putting others before me, and all of my close friends and family know how true this is.  I try to always be a great person to everyone, regardless of whether or not they can do the least bit of good for me at any point in my life.  I decided that I was going to have a great summer, and no one was going to stop me.  There are about 2 weeks left of summer vacation, and I have done an OUTSTANDING job of keeping this promise to myself, and honestly I am about as happy as I've ever been.

In some ways, I know that I'm cutting myself short.  I am not letting people get to me nearly as much as I used to, and my emotional state has improved tremendously.  I feel like since I've pretty much removed all of my emotions from all of my friendships that I really have nothing to lose.  I've been more upfront and honest with everyone, and taken chances that I would have been too afraid to take before.  I met hundreds of new people doing tons of new things that I never would have gotten to do if I wouldn't have adopted this new mindset.  Most importantly of all, I've done things that truly make me happy, even if it's just for the moment.  I stopped saying no to things that were new or different.  I became a "yes" girl, and it has made this summer 100% unforgettable.

I feel like the friends I previously had are now closer to me, the new friends I made got the best of me, and the old friends who came back into my life regretted leaving in the first place.  The people who have done me so much wrong (especially within the last year) got HUGE reality checks, and karma sure showed them who's boss.  I try not to get too much joy out of other's misery, but when it's deserved as much as this, you can't help but smile a little bit :P

All in all, I wouldn't change one bitty bit of anything that has happened to me this summer, even though it was nowhere near perfect.  I have had the craziest of the crazy things happen to me, and have missed out on too many hours of sleep to even try to estimate.  I've gotten ridiculously sunburnt, as mosquito bitten as you possibly could be, blackout drunk, almost kidnapped, and stranded on the side of the road.  I've woken up in so many strange places wearing the weirdest combination of clothes imaginable.  I love every bit of all of this madness that I've endured and I would do it all again in a heartbeat.  I just hope these next two weeks can live up to my expectations that have been set by the previous two months <3

Magic tricks and watermelon :]
Jillian.

Lions and Tigers and Bears

I love animals.  I love all animals.  I love every animal ever.  I am actually obsessed with animals.  Obsessed to the point that even when I see a ratty looking dog that's probably about to bite me, I'm still going to run up and kiss it on the mouth.  I cry when I see the Humane Society commercials on tv, and I get beyond pissed when someone has kittens or puppies and they don't invite me over to see them.  If you don't get the point already, then I don't think I can help you understand it.

All I have asked of every boyfriend I've ever had is that they please take me to the zoo.  That's all I want.  Guess how many times I've been taken to the zoo?  ZERO.  I just want to go see the fkn zoo creatures and no one will take me.  This has been going on since I was 16.  I'll be 22 in less than 2 months.  That's a LONG time to want something so simple.  It costs like, $15 to go to the zoo, and I've even offered to drive.  I've thought about going by myself, but I genuinely think I would try to climb into the tiger pit if I didn't have someone there to control me.  I've been straight up about how I'm gonna act when I finally go: Retarded.  Pretty much, whoever brings me to the zoo is going to get a lot of pats on the back and prayers from grandmothers because everyone is going to think that they took me out of the mental institution for the day so that I could go to the zoo.  They're going to look like a saint to everyone who sees us. 

I honestly think people are just embarrassed to be seen with me in most situations, especially those involving animals.  I get huge cartoon eyes with a big blue tear drop when I see birds in my yard, so you don't even want to know how I'm going to behave when I finally get to go to the damn zoo.  Now I'm getting mad just thinking about it.  I can't even discuss this any further.

ZOO ANIMALS.
Jillian.