Sloppy and Shameless

First off, I'M SO SORRY I haven't written since April.  The world got in my way, and I let it knock my feet out from under me.  The good news is that I think I've gathered enough ammunition over the summer to shoot you guys a couple of really swell blogs.  So let's see how well I keep my word this time!

Due to the constant teasing/torture I endured all throughout elementary, middle and high school, I managed to build up a great personality (if I do say so myself ;D).  I'm very easy going, super down to earth, as energetic as they come, and pretty much the single most ridiculous person you will ever have the pleasure to meet.  Also, you cannot embarrass me.  I mean that in all seriousness.  If I do something stupid, I will be the first to call myself out for it.  In doing so, I have now taken away any power anyone could have over me in that sense.  You're probably thinking "Oh okay, so that sounds pretty easy."  Yeah, until you hear some of the situations I've gotten myself into.

There's a very classy young lady in me, I SWEAR.  She just so happens to be hidden under a massive pile of things that you think only happen to people on reality shows.  MTV would make a pretty penny off of me, considering I act like a legitimate fool on a daily basis for free.  If they would only send some cameras my way...

But seriously.  If you don't actually know me, you probably think I am just a drunken train wreck.  Too bad that's not true.  I frequent the same bars and clubs on a regular basis because I am a 21 year old college student, and that's what we do.  I remember when no one knew who I was, and now I can't turn a corner without hearing someone gossiping about me.  The really funny part of this is that most of the things they say are true, which kills me because they think they are really just getting me good when actually I was just telling that story not even 5 minutes before.  I think my favorite was when I went out a few weeks after my 21st birthday.  I was waiting in line for the bathroom at my favorite bar when I hear some girls choking to death and pointing at me.  I just kind of looked at them with my big ol eyes because I was trying to come up with my plan of helping them not die since they were clearly in some sort of trouble with all their coughing.  Oh but no, they were laughing really attractively.  Thank Jesus.  Anyway, they started saying something about me peeing in a parking lot or something on my birthday.  I would have just been like "Whatevz." but they were going over the top with it.  So I loudly say "OH, are you referring to how I stayed the night with my boyfriend the night of my 21st birthday and peed all over him while I was blacked out while we were sleeping in his sister's bed?  If that's what you were talking about, then get your story straight next time."  Then some guy with dreadlocks high fived me.  Like, whatever.  It happened and I honestly think it's disgustingly trashy and gross, but it's too funny not to tell people. 

I also like meeting new people that know me, but I don't know them.  There's always that point in the conversation where they go "Okay, I have GOT to ask you about this to see if it's true..."  Yep, it probably is, and I'm okay with that.  I feel like a small town tabloid celebrity and it gives me the giggles.  I'd rather be the way I am than be completely boring, because then I would be lonely.  Everyone wants to hang out with a crazy girl, but with crazy usually comes actual craziness.  Thank baby Jesus I'm just a hot mess when I drink AND that I'm a happy slop when I drink.  No problems over in this neck of the woods.  I think I actually have a good thing going for me, because I've honestly never been as happy as I've been since I decided I just legitimately couldn't care less about anyone who tries to bring me down.  I also appreciate my decision to put people on blast when they piss me off, since 9 times out of 10 I do nothing to bring it on myself.  Believe it or not, that usually brings me closer to that person because they decide really quickly that I'm not a good enemy to have since I'm no fun to fight with because I just make everyone look stupid, and I'm not even about to go causing a scene in public.  I actually do kind of wish someone would show up at my house trying to fight me though.  If I knew they were coming, I would honestly dress up in full indian gear and meet them at their car door with my dad's bow and arrow pointed directly at their throat.  No one wants to f**k with a skinny girl dressed like a Native America, no siree. 

I forgot what I even started writing about.  This whole blog was crap, and I'm sorry for that.  I just needed a little warm up.  Promise the next one will be better!

Pancakes and pandas!
Jillian.