Hippo Crazy

I am pretty self aware, even thought it may seem like I'm not.  One thing that I try my most very hardest not to be is a hypocrite.

I have a handful of enemies on this planet that no matter what they said or did to try and change that, I would never have them as my friend because the way they have treated me is unforgivable.  This is saying a lot, since I forgive everyone entirely too easily.  Even though I consider a few people my enemies, the way I choose to handle myself around them is to just pretend like they aren't even there.  If I went to a restaurant and they were my waiter, it wouldn't make one bit of a difference to me.  I would just treat them as if I didn't know them.  What I can't stand, is when someone that knows we are not on good terms chooses to pretend like they have no idea about this.  I've had many situations where a few of these people run up to me and give me a huge hug like we are best friends forever.  I ask them to please leave me alone, and I walk away.  Some of them have texted me.  I politely ask them to delete my number out of their phones.  Some of my friends are actually friends with these people, and I don't care.  They don't talk about them, and neither do I.  If they bring them up in conversation, I just smile and nod and then change the subject.  I respect them enough to not run my mouth about them, but I also have no intention of ever making any attempt what so ever to try and have a friendship with them.

All that being said, I hate when people in my life pride themselves on being "bad asses" who do nothing but bad mouth everyone that isn't them or the people in the room with them.  What I hate more than that though is when someone "hates" someone so much that they "hope they die", and then a few days later they are best friends forever.  I'm not saying that people can't change or fix their past problems, but to go from such polar opposites is a little extreme to me.  That's why I try not to say I hate anyone, because I really don't.  I hate people's actions, and I hate the way people behave, but I don't hate any human. 

A lot of people don't actually know half the things they should about me.  I have many more problems in my life than I let on to, because the majority of them are in the past but still affect me and have shaped who I am today.  If anyone has a reason to hate anyone, it would be me.  The VERY few people who know what I'm referring to agree with me, and honestly can't see why I don't hate these people who have done certain things to me.  These very few people also know that I have a huge heart and want nothing more than to help all the people I can, and hating them wouldn't be conducive to either of those things.  I honestly to try to be as nice as I can be, regardless of how it may seem.  I don't go preaching about everything nice I do though, because that defeats the purpose.  It gets hard to keep quiet about it though when people try and call me out on it. 

I try to keep in mind that no one is perfect and everyone has flaws, and maybe these hypocrites have no idea how they are coming across to others, just as I'm sure I do things that make me look like a hypocrite.  I'm trying to be more tolerant and patient when it comes to things like this, but changing takes a little bit of time.

Ice cream and waffle cones.
-Jillian.