I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT

I don't like to beat around the bush, nor do I like to play childish games.  I have no control over what anyone does except me, myself, and I.  Now that I've said that, on to the main point of this blog.

Why would you ever intentionally start an argument with someone?  Especially by saying "You know what you did" or "You know why I'm mad at you".  Nope, can't say that I do.  And now that you started off the conversation like that, I immediately stopped caring about whatever it is you are trying to argue with me about.  I am a little bit too busy to sit around and play guessing games with you, so how about we just skip that whole segment and you just tell me what's bothering you? 

What's even worse than this though, is when someone isn't actually smart enough to continue the argument that they started and they start pulling random insults out of the air and throwing them at you.  "I am so mad at you for going to the movies without me!"  "Well, you didn't answer my call when I told you we were leaving."  "You look like a turd with a Jew nose!"  Yeah okay.  That makes a ton of sense.  That's not a real thing that's happened, but I mean I wouldn't be surprised if it really did.  I actually kind of like arguing with idiots though because their face gets all red and they start stomping around and sweating and I'm laughing on the inside.  I also like when someone tries to argue with me over something they do not even know the smallest bit of information about.  "Hi, I'm Jill.  My mom is a Nurse Practitioner, so I have a marginal knowledge about the medical field."  "Hey Jill, did you know that you can't get the chicken pox more than once?"  "Oh, actually you can.  That's just an old wives tale."  "NOPE YOU CAN'T BECAUSE MY NEIGHBOR'S CAT TOLD ME SO.  AND YOU LOOK LIKE A TURD WITH A JEW NOSE."  Kind of going along with this, I also like it when someone tries to agree with everything I say just to seem smart, which I catch onto and then decide to mindfk them.  I'll say a bunch of facts and then one big fat lie and they're all "Omg yahhh! That's sooo right!"  Like this one time I was talking to my friends from high school and I started making up some random situation just to see what they would say and they were like "Ohhh I remember that!  That was so crazy!"  Yeah, that would have been so crazy if it would have actually happened, which it didn't.

Arguments are one thing, but fights are not for me.  If anyone ever told me they were going to fight me, I would either A) Get a baseball bat and knock them out. B) Spray them with my pepper spray, then get a baseball bat and knock them out.  or C) Call my dad, who would bring a baseball bat to knock them out.  But really, fighting is so trashy, especially girl fights.  I hate watching them because whoever is actually fighting just looks like a big dumb spider monkey swinging their arms all over the place.  Although, this one time in high school...and this really happened by the way.  These two 'bigger' girls got into it outside the cafeteria.  They were kind of just hopping around in a circle while everyone was standing around waiting for something to happen.  Then we all got the shock of our lives.  One of the girls (who never really moved much, let alone displayed any sort of athletic ability) straight up scissor kicked the other girl in the chest.  Oh. Man.  I'm pretty sure I dislocated my jaw when I saw that, because I didn't think anyone actually knew how to scissor kick, let alone would think to whip out that move in the Quad after lunch.  The fight was pretty much over after that, but I will never forget the majesty and awe I felt afterward.  (I actually forgot about that whole situation until I started writing this blog, but that last little sentence spiced things up a bit, so oh well).

Margaritas and rock candy!
-Jillian.