Of Mice and Men

The number one problem that people face in relationships is asking too much of each other.  I can't speak from a man's point of view, but I can tell you what the typical girl thinks of when she imagines her "perfect guy".  Girls want their man to be there 100% of the time that she wants him around.  Girls want to go out on expensive dates every single night, and be showered with lavish presents every time they turn a corner.  Girls want guys to ditch their friends and family to come be around who the girl wants them to surround themselves with.  Any guy who would do this for a girl is completely immature, and any girl that would expect this from a guy is nuts.

Everyone has heard the saying about "accepting someone for what they are and not trying to change them".  Well this is absolutely wonderful advice.  A relationship isn't supposed to completely change your whole entire world, it's supposed to supplement the life you already lead.  If you meet a guy and absolutely hate his friends, it is not going to work.  I'm not saying you have to be BFF's with them and have slumber parties with them and gossip and giggle, but you do need to tolerate them and actually enjoy being around them since they aren't going anywhere.  Same goes for guys.  Girls tend to be MUCH pickier about their friend's new boyfriend, and probably aren't going to be nice until you prove that you deserve it.  That's just how it works.  That means guys, you have a lot of good impressions to make!  Even more important than friends are parents.  If you are on good terms with your parents and they aren't on board with the relationship, you might as well not even try to continue it. 

I really think more people should appreciate experiences rather than material things.  The way my brain works is that I immediately think of how much thought went into something rather than how big the price tag is.  If someone bought me a freakishly expensive dinner and then gave me some huge diamond necklace or something, I guarantee you they spent more time worrying about how much all this was going to cost rather than how much I would actually like it.  I would much rather get a handwritten letter in the mail or have a guy surprise me at my house with a picnic basket and tell me that we were going to have lunch in my backyard.  THAT is what would make an impact on me.  Of course spending a little money here and there isn't awful, but you certainly shouldn't break the bank on a daily basis.

Another thing I think people don't hold in high enough regards is first impressions.  I always let people know exactly what I'm about and I don't try to tailor my interests just to impress them.  Of course finding a common bond is a plus, but find more than one.  Running out of things to talk about is terrible and awkward and can completely ruin something that could have been great.  But if the spark just isn't there, then don't try to force it.

Above everything else, trust is the single most important thing in any friendship or relationship that you could ever hope to have.  You should trust others enough to know that you can talk to them about anything.  You should trust others enough to make the best decisions in any situation and not have to question their every move.  You should trust others to always give you all of themselves, and you should accept them at their best and worst.  Most importantly, you should trust yourself in your decision to be with someone and treat them like you would want to be treated. 

Never promise someone something you can't give them, and don't promise something you are unsure of or unwilling to do.  Never promise anything when the relationship is at its best, and never make a decision about the relationship with it's at its worst.  Never promise you won't argue over small differences or that you will never ever forget to call.  Never promise to be perfect, because no one can be that.  Just promise to try your very best, because that's all anyone should ever ask for.

Kittens and kisses.
-Jillian.